This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
