Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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