What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize