I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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