I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Randomize
