is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
