Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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