this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
