I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
so much tequila, so little girl.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
