I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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