Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Randomize
