Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
