I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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