if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
