The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
