in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
