Got a toothbrush?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
