I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
