Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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