Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
