so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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