For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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