I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize