girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
