I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
