So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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