Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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