Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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