Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
