All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
