i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
