Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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