u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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