didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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