Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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