Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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