Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I have so many feelings about this burrito
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
