I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
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