Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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