I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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