his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We talked him into tasing himself.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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