Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Damn victory sex feels great
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
