She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
