R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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