With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
