I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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