I heard we made out
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
