Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
