Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
