Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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