My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
