the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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