He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize