How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
