at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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