someone get that fucking seahorse.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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