Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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