Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
