My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize