Four minutes until I can fart!
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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