Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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