It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
