Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Randomize