Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
