You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
