i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
