i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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