take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
