whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
