i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Randomize
