Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
