oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
