Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
