he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
