Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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