I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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