Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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