i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
